Beetles to Porsches

Beetles to Porsches

Joseph MacDonald parked his 1965 Beetle in front of a restaurant 41 years ago, and that was the last time he saw it. He might yet see it again today, as his stolen car now painted white, and with even more rust will reunite with him, through the providence of border patrol officers actually performing some due diligence. Jason Torchinsky who knows a thing or two about stolen Beetles notes that he was lucky enough not to have waited 40 years for his car to come back. Forty years is a long time. It tempers the anger over stolen property, it washes away the fury of memories and bids those to move on, giving them no other choice that is, until current owner buys it through the twists and turns of honest ownership and then realizes that it might have to go back to a man he’s never even heard of. If it wasn’t heading to Finland for restoration, neither party would be in this situation.

If you think the simplest car in India is the Tata Nano, then meet the Bajaj Auto RE60: it’s a quadricycle on wheels, a tuk tuk that won’t fall over no matter how hard you crank it around the block. It weighs 880 pounds and can go up to 40 mph. It has four doors, four wheels, and paint. It resembles the sort of cartoonish, skyscraper tall future car we’re all supposed to be driving when the Earth falls into a terrible dystopia. And it’ll be so cheap that those rolling around on three wheeled autorickshaws can scrabble together not much more cash to enjoy luxuries such as doors and a roof. Truth is, this kind of simple thinking is a logical step from an already motorized country, whose citizens deserve safer and more comfortable cars for not much more than what they’re already able to afford. And for around $3,200, still less than the iconic Maruti Alto, the RE60 deserves to be a success.

A man wakes up in a desert, next to a brand new compact German luxury crossover. He has no idea why he’s in the desert. Furthermore, he has no idea when he became the target demographic for a brand new compact German luxury crossover. Mercedes Benz hopes you’ll be intrigued enough by that premise to check out their moody interactive website for the GLA where you can help some smarmy fellow figure out why he’s suddenly been trapped in a Kanye West video. Eagles, jawlines, and a bride in a dirty wedding gown all make an appearance. Maybe Ryan was dead the whole time?

Next time your officemate goes through his macho posturing Elkins aping Steve McQueen phase and buys Rikki Rockett’s Triumph Scrambler, one up him at the office holiday party in this: a Porsche 917 replica by Werkz Cars with a Sebring Martini livery. Ignore the high school circa AOL “z” naming scheme. The Werkz (not Werke, mind you; you’re thinking of another German) car shows great fit and finish with upwards opening doors and a tube frame chassis (then again, we’re looking at Craigslist photos here.) Werkz suggests any flat six engine from a 2.0 to a 3.8, but true connoisseurs of flying death machines won’t accept anything smaller than a flat eight, or the full monty boxer twelve. Jeez, where would you even find a flat 12? Weld two Super Coupe motors together? Hey, Ford did that with the GT90, a car once voted by Autoweek editor Blake Z. Rong as the “Greatest Car Ever” in the “I’m 9 And This Is Awesome” category. Shockingly few cars have won such a vaunted award. Put one of those rare engines in this, and this will sweep it.

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Beetles to Porsches